When I was a kid, I could never lose.

I have a distinct memory at six years old playing Monopoly.

Perhaps my mom thought now was the time for me to get my first taste of the real world. That letting me win mentality was over.

Of course, I lost horribly.

I didn’t know how houses and hotels worked. I didn’t understand utilities. I didn’t realize the benefit of owning the same types of properties.

All I could feel was the emotion of losing.

That’s why, when my mom started telling me how to play the game better, I didn’t hear her.

My emotions got in the way. I’d keep on losing.

Fast forward to today, and I look at feedback a whole lot differently.

But some adults don’t. And that’s what today’s post is about.

Feedback is greater than frustration.

Let’s dive in.

But let’s talk about trust

Feedback comes from everywhere. I’m not talking about the feedback loop from the phone in your hand or the scale that you step on.

I’m talking about a 1-to-1 conversation.

More specifically, a 1-to-1 conversation with someone you trust can help you.

If you don’t trust the person across from you, they may think they’re giving you feedback, but really you’re just receiving their opinions.

Think about a coach, guide, mentor, or boss. These are the people I’m talking about.

Shall we?

Easy v. hard

With people you trust, feedback isn’t personal. It’s a privilege.

It’s easy to get upset when someone is critical of your performance (especially when you worked really hard on something).

It’s hard to hear criticism.

It’s harder to hear criticism AND make change. But that’s the mission.

It’s important…and here’s why

When you create or provide anything and put it out into the world, you’re willingly asking for feedback.

Don’t change the rules when you start receiving it.

It doesn’t matter if the feedback is harsh, nice, short, winded, high-brow or simplistic.

That’s the world telling you how to get better.

It is the world giving you a shortcut to greatness.

Kill your darlings

Your personality is your biggest asset. It also needs a kick in the nuts.

When someone is giving you feedback, you’ve got two choices:

1. Feel small

2. Feel grateful

Your brain can be a rocket ship.

Taking things personally can empty your fuel tank before you’re off the launch pad.

Taking things willingly can propel you further than you knew you could reach (at record speed).

How about an example?

I was on a call with my coach this week. He’s helping me get better at LinkedIn and speaking to solopreneurs.

He wanted to evaluate a post I’d done. “Am I OK to be honest?” he asked.

“Rip it to shreds,” I said.

He proceeded to do just that.

He ripped apart something I’d spent an hour on into ashes in a few minutes.

• “Don’t put this here.”

• “What were you thinking on this? Do this instead.”

• “That looks like a child did it. Here’s a better version.”

He’s also the nicest dude I know.

But we have a ton of trust. We have a verbal agreement that when we’re giving feedback, we’re giving value.

And because he’s damn good, it only took him a few minutes to save me dozens of hours in the future.

If he had to nurture my ego every time, it would have taken a lot longer.

Or worse, he wouldn’t have told me at all.

Hello, stuck in a rut. It sucks to see you.

And there’s the key

Valuable feedback from someone you trust isn’t personal at all.

It’s a cheat code.

When someone who is doing it better than you offers advice, put your ego in a lockbox and grab a pen.

They’ll have saved you a whole lot of errors and frustrations.

Then shout them out (and go give some valuable feedback of your own).

Speaking of lockboxes

I was listening to NPR last week and heard Johann Hari. Didn’t know who he was but he wrote the book Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How To Think Deeply Again.

He was talking about this lockbox he puts his phone in.

And as life does, this lockbox started coming up over and over.

I then listened to Ali Abdaal’s latest Deep Dive podcast with Hector Hughes on the subject of burnout.

TL;DR: 

• Hector started this company called Unplugged.

• It’s 3 days of no technology in a cabin.

• You lock your phone in a box and literally unplug.

I’ve got twins on the way, so this isn’t in the cards for me right now.

But this lockbox is speaking to me.

Would you buy it?

I'm using systems and resources to improve 1% every day.

I’ve been active on LinkedIn every day since March. In the beginning, I had no clue what to post. Luckily, my pal Steven has created an entire year’s worth of content frameworks. All you have to do is fill ‘em in.

Answer me this.

What’s your productivity system right now? I’m giving virtual hugs to anybody who shares.